& now we sit and wait.

31w5d

I am on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy.
Our goal is to at least make it to 34 weeks.
If we make it to 35 weeks then we can deliver at our hospital (which is only 10 minutes away). If we deliver before 35 weeks then we have to deliver at Children's Hospital in Milwaukee.


The short of it is this: my body is in labor. I spend my days warding off contractions. It's my job to keep them in check, never allowing them to become more than 4 per hour. Being up walking around and doing things can encourage my body to progress in labor so that's why I am to sit and do nothing.

As of Monday (2/3) I am still 1cm dilated and 50% effaced.

I have 2 non-stress tests per week (laying in a recliner at the Dr office for 20-30 minutes with the monitors that track the baby's heartbeat and movement and my contractions) and one visit with my midwife to measure my belly and check dilation. (At this point, I'm only supposed to be having to go for a belly measurement/listen to the baby's heartbeat every two weeks.)

I want to tell you all that being on bed rest is relaxing and fun.
No, bed rest is neither easy nor fun. It's not fun in the least bit. It's depressing and frustrating and not being able to do mundane things or something as simple as run to the grocery store to get things I need/want is very hard. My body is in a battle with me and it's hard to accept that I have no control nor am I able to willingly keep my baby safe inside me.

Kevin has been more than helpful and willing to get me things I need without really questioning why. I think he sees the desperation and panic behind every request I have. And he has to know how hard it is for me to ask for help in the first place. I don't think I've ever really depended on someone else. I'm barely even capable of asking people for favors no matter how much I've helped everyone else out.

Yes, my shower will still be happening as planned. I won't be able to be up doing things but I will be there sitting in a comfy chair. I'm very much looking forward to it - that and feeling better about being that much closer to being prepared for when she does decide to come. Right now everything is sitting in "almost" limbo.

I appreciate all of the well wishes, prayers and help that I've received thusfar.
Thank you all!