The 24 hours after.

I don't think I have to tell you how long 24 hours can be when you're waiting to hear about the fate of your child. The day that I got home from the ultrasound there was a lot of crying as I told Kevin and then a few select people. Kevin made me dinner and despite the mess I felt I was internally, I managed to eat - I still needed to take care of the baby. After dinner was over the doorbell rang; a package had been delivered. In the worst possible time ever, my insurance company had sent me a "Congratulations on your pregnancy" package, including a week by week pregnancy book. I looked up CVS in the index and read the very small blurb that had been my day. Had I read it prior to my day, I wouldn't have been any more prepared for what I had gone through. I threw the box along with the book on the kitchen table. It broke my heart to look at it. I spent the night watching TV for distraction and checking my temperature as instructed by the doctor.


September 19, 2013
I can't tell you most of what I did the next day. It was mostly a series of events trying to keep my mind busy and trying my hardest not to stare at the clock. My mom called around 2:30 to ask if I had heard anything yet and suggested that I call. I reminded her that we didn't get home until around 3:00 so I would call down there at 4:00 if they hadn't called by then. I was afraid to call them - I didn't want to regret forcing any type of bad news on myself.

My phone rang at 3:40. I jumped up off of the couch and started to pace nervously as I answered. It was the genetics counselor, Barbara, and she had a thick foreign accent. Upon hearing her soft and gentle voice I was thankful that it had not been the doctor to call me. A lot of me felt broken up until that phone call and I needed someone who would be gentle with their words.
She cut right to the chase. My baby was negative for Trisomy 13, 18, and 21. "So that means 100% sure, right? There's no way you read it wrong and it could change in a month?" I asked. "Yes, 100%," she confirmed. I let out a large breath that I was unaware that I had been holding. At this point I had wandered into the bathroom and was holding onto the counter to brace myself. From the corner of my eye I could see my body hunch over in relief from this news.

I walked into what would eventually be the baby's room and stared out the window. "Would you like to know the sex?" she asks as she notices my breathing has slowed back down to normal. "What?! Yes!" I reply. I didn't even know that I would be able to find out, but after I thought about it, it made sense. They had pulled her DNA and sex was determined far before you could visually see it. "What do you think it is?" she asks me. "A boy," I reply, confident. "It's a girl," she says and I can tell she's smiling. At this moment, I let out a small gasp before breaking down and crying just as I had 24 hours earlier but for the complete opposite reason. I thanked her and she told me to call the office the next day to set up my next ultrasound with perinatology and that they would be in contact with me within the next week to let me know the rest of the results of the CVS.

They called a week later and let me know the rest of the results had come in and they were all negative. It was good news, but they didn't entirely trust it. "There are a lot of things we did not test for, we only tested for the big things," she started. She went on to explain how the DNA testing worked and how there were a lot of little things that were in fact actually "big things" and just as serious as the things they had already tested for. She listed a few examples and then went on to explain that she could test further using the same sample they already had. The next string of tests would be called a Chromosomal Micro-array and I only had a few days to decide before my sample would no longer be able to be used.

After consulting with someone who had recently been through the same testing and talking to my midwife I decided to go through with the testing. If nothing else, it would give me more peace of mind and let us prepare for certain things that may need special immediate care (which would determine where I would deliver and who would need to be there when I did). The test would take 2-3 weeks to come back which would be right around the time that my first follow up ultrasound would be.